Wednesday, 21 November 2018

What is my role in life what do I bring...

What is my role in life and what do i bring?

I often ask myself these questions ... often maybe... what is my role now..what do i bring to the table... i used to bring a lot... i was a sucseesful restaurant manager..i loved it... late nights... long shifts ..gave it all up.. to work in an office environment on little money... i.e from 35k... down to 11k a year... but i knew i would be ok... I knew I would always bring something to the table... and know my role... i did... i became a team leader in an alien environment ... earned double my salary within a couple of yrs.. always believed in my myself... i got ill... i wanted to change stuff get knowledgable about what i was suffering from.. not a job this time it was personal... i managed to be in meetings with the diabetes nhs England team...with the help of diabetes Uk.. and meet so many amazing people... i went to Parliament all through MY hard work and perseverance ... i have always tried to think .. if you really want it you can do it... i moved to Bournemouth without knowing a soul apart from my sister Matt and the boys... but have made it here..have a life despite all the shite life has dealt me... nothing has been given to me i have fought and worked for everything  I have..

I wouldn’t say the fight is beat out of me... but all i want now is to live a happy life... a stress free life ... no arguments .. no bullshit.. i am happy to shut my mouth... it i love to laff... i love it ...
I feel sick a lot... i vomit.. or shit.. or sweat.. or have pain in my feet.. or cant sleep..
 TBC  Bored of my voice today

Managed to change my consultant

And so following From previous post, missed my appointment, welll it is true I did miss it, I did expect a reminder letter that never came, could I have chased it up before yes, could I have called yes, was I relieved that the appointment was missed YES. WHY?? I hear no one say but me talking to  me, well I had not got on with Dr Brooke’s Fromm day one really, the 1st time we meet he was expecting someone with out of control sugars as his words said, but one look at my tester and he seemed quite shocked as to the amount of times I was testing and how good they were, in the circs, yes I had previously missed a couple of appointments but this was due to just trying to get on with life and live a little, so all he saw was someone who had missed a few appointments and the last one a pancreas transplant was talked about.

Well we wont be going along that route will we lee, Dr Brooke’s said, erm no whatever you say doc as I was a little embarrassed having missed a few appointments, the main reason for  me really getting back on it was my stomach has pretty much taken control of my life now, either its bowel movements, or throwing up and feeling nausea all day.
Couple of weeks ago in a car journey we had to pull over as I could not hold it in anymore, and yes it can be funny, but when it happens on a regular basis to the point I dread any kind of journey I guess the joke stops. Sitting in the cinema and missing 20 mins of a film as you HAVE to go to the toilet.

Anyway back on track so you see the main motivator about seeing the docs full pelt again, I can control my type1 , week as much as a type1 can, I made it clear that this was my goal with Dr Brooke’s,,, I had to try and explain my whole story over again which I very difficult in the short time frame you have at an appointment , I don’t think he quite understood the story but we met got some blood pressure tabs and went on.

Next appointment i think i had the libre and again went through the whole story again, i was asked to to a test, soz i cant remember it off hand but looked it up after and remember thinking it was something i am sure i had been tested on before. It came across that he had not read my file didn’t know what testes had been completed and was guessing and nt actually knowing if this had been completed before.
I went home and stewed a bit got a bit upset and thought i was just going backwards with everything, i had seen so so many docs consultants around the country and you get to realise that they do not know the answer to it all, but its tough to challenge a doc in a room where you have little time and i get a bit flustered if i am honest.
So long story i know, i also know. Am talking to myself, lee you bellend,  i had a letter today from the hostpial saying when i took the pump out i signed a contract to keep up on appointments and use the pump correctly etc, i get that , and i should have gone for that reason, but i am using the pump and the libre and testing 15 more times everyday correct carb count etc, so it wasn’t that i was hiding anything from them. Just git bored bored and burnt out of it all. So letter says they will stop the pump if I don’t go to net appointment and to have back up supplies of unslung novo and Lantus.

So this the kick up the arse i knew that if i continued to have Dr Brooke’s as my consultant then i would prob miss another and i need too get this sorted, so i spoke to Emma diabetic nurse at the hospital, and explain EVERYTHING so have managed to get back to Dr Partridge hopefully but wont be seeing Dr Brooke’s anymore.. I feel. MASSIVE relief and weight of the shoulders if i am honest. It needed to happen.
Also on that i am starting the process of aging access to my FULL MEDICAL records to see what tests have been completed and what have not, so in future i can help them understand what has been done ,i do understand i am a very small cog in a massive machine .

Monday, 19 November 2018

Background retinopathy

So had the annual eye check up, results are in background retinopathy , it no big deal I know messages from D.O.C have said they have had it for years and its is no real problem . I was surprised by this result though as my sugars have been good and my HBA1C was 6.5 or 6 I cant remember. I also to like being able to see the results on the day and talk through it with the optician, this time the appointment was in a place called the verwood hub, like a community centre, where there was a sign pointing to a cafe, no one to greet me, and off that x2 rooms with eye screening posters on them, no where to check in to say I am here, while others were ordering a coffee I was wondering what to do, h=when someone called my name, looked around and there was a nurse in one of the door ways. The process was done, I asked to see the photos but she said she couldn’t do it and I would get a letter with the results. Last year I went and it was a different place but I was asked if I had had laser eye surgery as there was a burn spot on my eye, which I hadn’t so was told it could have been through looking at the sun for too long. Which I wouldn’t have known about if I had just been sent a letter, like on this appointment.
Maybe it the NHS`s way of spicing things for for us TYPE 1s you never know where your next appointment will be, in a cafe, in a doctors surgery at an opticians.

Sunday, 18 November 2018

Freestyle libre flash tester love it hate the cost of it

So I have been using the freestyle libre for about a year now and I can honestly say I has changed the way I manage my diabetes, no longer having to worry about how many test strips I use.. as you can test as many times a day as you like, I love the arrows that show you if your bloods are stable going down or going up. Means you can predict and manage a your sugars so much better, as you know the finger pricks only give you number. I did lose x2 at the beginning , the positioning of it I put it to far around on my arm, like by the tricep so it was sticking out a bit and caught it in the door  and it came off, so now it’s more near the shoulder, I did lose another through sweat but overall there hasn’t really been any issues.

DOWNSIDE = COST So it costs us £100 per month it’s £50 per tester which lasts for 14days, I am on the insulin pump as well, and when it was announced that it would be available on the NHS I was quite pleased, so My next appointment the doc asked about how I was getting on with it, hoping he would give me one, but was told due to funding it was either the pump or the libre .. well it was a no brainier really so I kept the pump. Hoping that the may change I will push for it again next time.. 

I would recommend this to everyone, you can share the results with others via an app which is great for parents to keep tabs on their kids 

Ta ta for a bit